• May 16, 2019
• Parenting
• Parents NoticeBoard
• 07

If you cannot afford it, do without.
                                                                  -Unknown.
In the previous article we mentioned that when it comes to pocket money, honesty is key. I say this because as our children are growing up, they get to interact with their agemates. These friends play a great role in influencing and even shaping our children’s mindsets.

Case example:

John, your neighbor’s child has been receiving a certain amount of pocket money from his parents. Lisa, your other neighbor’s kid however doesn’t receive any pennies from her parents. And then here comes your child, very new to the neighborhood. Your child happens to be fortunate enough to see John being able to buy his own candy whereas Lisa always has to run to her parents for candy.

Sometimes her offer is declined and she’s miserable for the rest of the day. So, your child will come to you and ask for pocket money.

At first you say no. It sparks up a whole argument where he justifies his demands by saying that it’s the in thing. When you finally cave in you offer a number that is slightly lower than what John receives. Of-course the young one doesn’t take it well. At that age they are still blind to the notion that having something is better than having nothing. He then proceeds to say, “But John gets X amount every so often. Why can’t I?”

There’s a myriad of reasons as to why you would rather not give your child that much money.

Most of the time, to avoid conflict we go above and beyond to ensure that our children are leading certain lives. But for how long will you fake it?

At some point, preferably in the beginning, you need to be honest with yourself and with your child as well. Communication after all is what makes or breaks a relationship. But to do this you have to first accept that this is where you are financially. Secondly, Y amount is what you can comfortably afford to give to your child consistently without digging holes in your pockets.

Once you have established these truths to yourself, then you need to communicate these truths to your child instead of just dismissing them or plainly saying ‘Sina pesa’

The amount increases as they grow older. Up until a time you deem fit to cut off allowances, usually when they get a steady income or just after college. It helps to catapult them into fending for themselves and you will avoid the classic ‘failure to launch’ scenario.

Authored By SJAM